thankful.

Of course this week lends itself to the making of mental lists of things for which we are thankful. My list this year contains all of the usual suspects, including family, health, and safe travels down to Louisiana to celebrate. 

But this year, there's another item on my list. Something I have taken for granted in the past, though I always should have known better. It's something that has largely evaded me in recent months... well, years. It's something I've felt intermittently, sometimes unexpectedly, but haven't acted upon in quite a while. 

What is it? 

Inspiration. Simple, blessed, inspiration. 

I feel it most often when I return to Shreveport, to the Ontario House. Something about this house leads me right into the arms of waiting words. Maybe it's the proximity to so many loved ones. Maybe it's all the work and labors of love that have gone into making this house our family home of so many years. Maybe it's the memories of sitting at the dining room table with a steaming cup of coffee, creating blogging schedules, tapping things out on my beloved white MacBook, scheduling posts for months in advance. 

I don't know exactly what it is, but for reasons I can't adequately explain, I feel immense gratitude, overflowing thanks. 

Happy Thanksgiving to whomever may be out there, reading this. Thank you for being part of this story. 

on consistency & self discipline.

hastily tapped out in my phone notes while en route from Denver to Raleigh last week - 

I'll never understand why I stop doing things that I like.

Working out. Eating healthfully. Writing on this blog. 

Human nature seems to dictate this weird need to depart from routines and activities and tasks, even if those things are beloved to us. Do we need a break from the monotony? Do we secretly need to rebel? Are we all just that wishy washy? 

Maybe it's just me. But really, drawing from conversations with friends, I'm quite sure that it is not just me. Many of us seem to have to struggle inwardly against ourselves to make sure we are doing - consistently - the things that we love. 

I know people who don't seem to struggle in this way. And a character trait that I observe in them, alongside this faithful, relentless, and unfailing consistency? Self discipline. 

A long time ago, in what was probably 2006 or 2007, there was this feature you were able to install on Facebook that allowed individuals to write anonymous messages to you, that only you could view. I'll never forget one of the messages I got one night (in fact, it's the only message from that feature I even remember at all). It read, 

"I wish you weren't such a flake." 

Even now, I am not sure who of my friends wrote that message to me, though I have an idea or two that would certainly make sense*. At that time in my life, I will admit that I was flaky. I was flighty and anxious and always trying to fit in and please people and be viewed as fun. And now, I can recognize that life - and living a happy one at that - is not about pleasing everyone with what a lively and vivacious person you are, with how many stories you have to tell, with how new and exciting your life is - and remains - day after day. Your real friends and family will love you, even when you're dull, even when you don't know what to say, even when you're in a dark place. 

I wish I would have known that back then, so that I could have been the kind of friend to whomever wrote that message, that I try to emulate now. I wish I would have known how to look deep inside myself and recognize all that I truly love and hold dear. And I wish I would have had the courage then, to be true to myself. I wish I would have had more self discipline, to stick beside plans, to stick beside my friends, to stick beside myself. 

And now, I hope and pray for the kind of self discipline that yields consistency. Consistency with exercise, healthful eating, sharing by way of this blog, connecting with dear friends. 

I hope and pray for that magical, unyielding consistency. 

*If you wrote that message to me, and you are reading this, please know that I am truly sorry that I was not there for you. I sincerely wish I would have been. 

the sunday currently, volume 124.

beautiful flowers all around vail

reading Fierce, by Aly Raisman. A couple of weeks ago, I finally finished Big Little Lies, by Liane Moriarty, which I really enjoyed.
writing a lot in my bullet journal, including adding photos and keepsakes. It's been a while since I've done this kind of journaling, and it really is my favorite.
listening to the Office while typing out this blog post. Nothing makes me feel better like this show does.
thinking that I am really glad that Justin and I built in some trip recovery time on the back end of our trek to Colorado. It really does take some time to get re-acclimated to the time zone you've returned to. We've both been feeling so tired since we got back.
smelling coffee and donuts. The breakfast of champions.
wishing for some tortilla soup today. I had some at a place called Hacienda Colorado in Denver. It was so good, and I've been craving it ever since.
hoping for a productive and joyful week ahead.
wearing pajamas, just like I have been doing since we arrived home from Colorado.
loving the flowers we got to enjoy all around Vail (see photo above).
wanting tortilla soup. I'm telling you, I can't stop thinking about it.
needing a shower and a fresh perspective.
feeling sad for a dear friend and praying for healing and comfort for her and her family.

See all volumes of The Sunday Currently here.

What little pieces are making up the normal in your life today? Link up & share below. 

small kindnesses.

Last night, Luke and I met Justin for dinner at a little Italian restaurant around the corner from our house. We had only been there once before, but I had really loved it and had anticipated going back. 

When we walked in, I was struck again with the little joys of this place: green and white penny tile flooring, the glow of tea lights, and these white and pink roses, dotted with cranberries. 

As we sat down and got settled, I took my phone out and snapped a quick photo, as you see above. As I was doing so, the waitress swept over and greeted us, began asking what we would like to drink. Slightly embarrassed at being caught doing something so vaguely rude and touristy as photographing flowers in a restaurant, I quickly slipped my phone away and stammered an awkward hello (it's true - and I have the "live photo" evidence to prove it). 

Rather than be annoyed at yet another person tinkering with their phone at the dinner table, the waitress smiled and asked, "Are you taking photos of my flowers?" Relieved that I wasn't being quietly chided for this minor faux pas, I admitted that yes, I was, and that they were beautiful, launching us into a polite, light-hearted discussion about flowers. Frivolous? Yes. Refreshing? Also yes.

The night was punctuated by a lady who had been dining with her husband, approaching our table to tell us the following: "What a good baby. He was a delight to watch at dinner. Was that him singing?" 

Anyone who has dined out with a toddler knows that things aren't always predictable. Sometimes there's shrieking. Sometimes there's crying. Sometimes there are loud outbursts of talking. Sometimes there is the throwing of any number of table-top objects. Luke is, usually, relatively good at the dinner table, since he loves to eat and socialize. He hadn't been perfect at this dinner (really, what child ever is?), but I had counted it as a success, because he had devoured the manicotti, drunk plenty of water, and had, in fact, been singing (at a polite volume). 

But for a stranger to approach your dinner table, simply to sing your child's well-mannered praises? Well, that is something very special indeed. A small act of kindness, which definitely does not go unnoticed. 

And as the lady walked away, I smiled and said to Justin, "Really, there is no higher praise than that." I am thankful for the kind of dinner we had last night, because to me, it's the small kindnesses that sometimes make the biggest difference.  

the sunday currently, volume 123.

reading nothing at the moment. A little under a year ago, I started reading Big Little Lies, following watching - and loving - the show. I need to pick my iPad back up and re-start, and finish this book.
writing daily pages in my pocket traveler's notebook from Chic Sparrow. I have the pocket Maverick, and I love it. Other things I write in my TN? Blog post drafts! I've also been writing in my new bullet journal - my second one ever. I finished my first one a couple of months ago, and dropped the practice for a little while. I'm so glad I picked it back up - I really believe it's the best planner/journaling/memory keeping system for me. My first bullet journal was a large, black, squared Moleskine. My second one is a blue, dotted Artists' Loft notebook from Michael's. I'm hoping to try the Leuchtturm 1917 next.
listening to a playlist that I made in anticipation of my 30th birthday. The songs remind me of the wait for Luke to arrive, wondering if we were going to share a birthday. Little did I know, I'd have to wait until September to meet the little guy.
thinking that Luke and I are ready for Justin to get home. He has been in Austin since Thursday, so Luke and I have been holding down the fort since then. We've enjoyed our Mama-Luke time, but we're definitely ready to be a household of three again.
smelling like Sensual Amber from Bath and Body Works, a year-round favorite, despite its silly name.
wishing for an end to the violence that's been going on in our country. That's all I'm going to say on the matter.
hoping for a productive week. Luke and I need to get some stuff done around the house, run some errands, and I am beginning a 10-day health and fitness challenge tomorrow. Time to get in shape!
wearing one of my favorite necklaces lately. It's a gold bar from Stella & Dot, and it has the coordinates of the hospital where Luke was born etched into it. It was a gift from Justin when Luke was born.
loving being back in the blogosphere. There's nothing quite like it. I've missed it. And I'm loving starting again with The Sunday Currently!
wanting to eat sushi every single day. Hibachi is a close second.
needing to clean out my email accounts.
feeling ready to get in shape. And thankful. And hopeful.

See all volumes of The Sunday Currently here.

What little pieces are making up the normal in your life today? Link up & share below.

blogging in twenty-eighteen.

Back in December, this kind girl right here commented on one of my Instagram posts (see above). 

She asked if I planned to start writing again in 2018, and to be completely honest, I hadn't even given it much of a thought until her question. And believe me - I'm glad, so glad, that she asked. 

Sometimes, I find, even when I love to do something, miss doing something - it takes an extra external push to have the courage to jump in with both feet. It is often at the prompting of friends, the asking of family, that I press on, keep at it, remember to make time for writing. And when other external forces inadvertently work to quell that desire to write, it becomes more difficult to put energy into it.

First, OT school happened, which took almost all of my mental energy. Then, I became a mom - one of the biggest changes and challenges and joys in my life - and that took all of my mental, physical, and emotional energy. Then, I graduated OT school, and a few months later, started working, and that took up quite a bit of all of those energies also.

It's no wonder that I was absent from one of my most loved hobbies - even though I continually missed it. In addition to the things I mentioned above, I was also happily trucking along with everyday life, keeping up with family, friends, figuring out how to manage my household (still working on that one)... etc. I've been settling into myself, and it has taken some time.

All of this to say... I hope to write more here this year. I've been thinking up some series to start doing, possibly falling back on some older series, and really, just planning on opening up my browser and typing more often, whatever it may be about.

Here's to the joy of blogging, of sharing. Thank you, Emily. 

this november.

the days are getting shorter, the nights longer. there is a crisp freshness carried in the air, the leaves blowing behind it. trees stand guard in red, yellow, orange. it's been years since november has felt this distinctly fall. and i love it. 

the sunday currently, volume 122: wednesday edition.

Good morning from the C residence, and happy Wednesday! Obviously, I have missed posting editions of The Sunday Currently for the past couple of weeks, so I thought I would go ahead and post one on Wednesday, rather than wait until Sunday again. Make sense? Good. 

reading Big Little Lies, by Liane Moriarty. Actually, I haven't been reading it, because my iPad is not upstairs by my bed. I need to find where it is and put it back, because I miss reading. I really, really miss reading Shannon Miller's book, so much so, that I may re-read it after I finish the current book. 

writing in my large, black, squared Moleskine, and loving every minute of it. Also writing in? My Filofax. I realized how much I missed that beloved planner, so I ordered some inserts, and it is back in commission. 

listening to Luke's singing cow. It has long been a tradition that he visits with his singing cow during morning swings. Also listening to Glide videos. 

thinking that I can't wait for OPI's Cajun Shrimp to arrive in the mail tomorrow. I've never owned that color, and I am so excited that I finally will, as I have always wanted it, since around 2010. 

smelling freshly brewed coffee. I'm drinking it right now, too. 

wishing that I was a more innately productive person. And that I was good at prioritizing. And that I was a good cook. 

hoping for a productive day. 

wearing pajama pants and a baggy black shirt. Soon, I'll be putting on workout clothes so that Luke and I can go for a walk. 

loving getting to spend so much time with my son. It is hard to be productive with a baby, yes, but I cherish these days spent getting to know him and watching him learn. 

wanting coffee, coffee, and more coffee today. Oh, the constant I'm-tired parent struggle. It's real. 

needing to drink lots of water, in edition to that coffee. My newly-instituted habit tracker in the above-mentioned Moleskine has revealed that I absolutely suck at drinking water. As if I didn't already know that. I think that I will drink water instead of absolutely anything else (except for coffee) over the next few days. That should help, right? Or just dehydrate me. Lauren, you can do this. Just drink water. Just do it. It's not difficult. 

feeling sore. I have worked out every day of May so far. But also inspired. And ready to make this a good day. 

siddathornton through the years:

2012, 2012 | 2013

See all volumes of The Sunday Currently here.

What little pieces are making up the normal in your life today? Link up & share below! 

the sunday currently, volume 121.

rainy day last week 

Good morning & happy Sunday, everyone! Welcome to the reinstatement of The Sunday Currently! I've recently had a bit of a revelation where blogging is concerned, & I am so happy to be back here with you, sharing the normal details of my Sundays. Back in grad school, & right after having my son, I felt like I was too busy to pen one of these posts each week. That makes me very sad, because I feel as if these posts are a kind of living time capsule. When I go back & read past TSC posts, I respond in one of two ways, usually: 

1. Ohhhh, I remember that.

2. Cool! I don't remember doing that. 

While I greatly enjoy the experience of the former, it is the latter that inspires me to write these posts and keep up with this practice. The capturing of small memories that may have been lost, the window into a moment in time... that is the impetus for these posts & the reason I have decided to bring them back. I can make time for this, and I will. 

Currently...

reading It's Not About Perfect, by Shannon Miller. So far this year, I have read Talking As Fast As I Can, by Lauren Graham; Scrappy Little Nobody, by Anna Kendrick; Letters to a Young Gymnast, by Nadia Comaneci; Off Balance, by Dominique Moceanu; and Little Girls in Pretty Boxes, by Joan Ryan. I am planning to read Big Little Lies, by Liane Moriarty, after I finish Shannon Miller's book, since I enjoyed the television show so much (and I am now making Justin watch it with me!).

writing lots of to-do lists on the magnetic notepad I bought a couple days ago at Marshall's. I have lots of stray, random items that need to be accomplished, & it is already helping to corral all of them so that I can remain focused and actually productive. 

listening to "Selling The Drama," by Live, was a good idea this morning. I listened to the Throwing Copper album a lot at the end of junior year of high school, so, to me, this song & many others sound like new beginnings. 

thinking that this stage of motherhood is pretty sweet. I have a post coming soon about Luke's birth story, & after that, I'll be sharing a post called life after birth. I have decided I want to share my story, even though I hesitated for a long while. More on that coming soon. 

smelling a freshly-bathed baby is the best thing! Luke takes a bath every other night, & it is one of my favorite things!

wishing I had kept up with the practice of writing TSC posts through the last couple of years, as I mentioned in the introduction of this post. The only thing there is to do, is to keep up the practice now, so that's what I'm going to do. 

hoping for a great week ahead. Justin is off, so I am looking forward to us spending time as a family of three! We are hoping to put some stuff up in the play room so that Luke can practice pulling up, which he is already starting to do!

wearing the Patagonia fleece that my parents got me for Christmas. Like, all the time. I love it. It's one of my greatest comforts at the moment. 

loving the way that Luke's personality is developing. He is such a sweet baby, and curious, and stubborn, and talkative! 

wanting more coffee. And I've already had two cups. It is Starbucks Sunday, after all, so I will probably indulge once we get out after Luke's second nap. 

needing to drink a ton of water this week. Luckily, I joined a 21 day fitness challenge, and drinking at least 64 ounces of water per day is one of this week's assignments. I'm very much looking forward to not only this individual part of the challenge, but getting back into a healthy lifestyle over all. 

feeling content & inspired. And happy to have written this TSC post today!

siddathornton through the years:

2014

See all volumes of The Sunday Currently here.

What little pieces are making up the normal in your life today? Link up & share below! 

on loyalty.

It's a funny thing, isn't it, to think of being loyal to a blog. To a place on the internet. 

This blog - siddathornton - & I have been through a lot together. 120 volumes of The Sunday Currently. Many hastily tapped out confessions. Many caffeine-enhanced ramblings. Many days spent tucked into the very back corner of the new Starbucks on Oleander Drive in Wilmington, shivering in the cold, coffee-scented air while I switched between writing in my many journals & planners, applying for OT school, and blogging, always blogging. Mornings at Port City Java, when things felt so new. Afternoons at Port City Java, when I ate chocolate chip muffins, burrowed into a fuzzy, cream colored scarf and tried to write a business plan. Travels to & from Shreveport. A cataloguing of the weddings of my friends, and then, our wedding. 

These things are all the moving parts of the things that I hold most dear: my relationships. 

So, I guess it's not really a funny thing at all, loyalty. It's familiarity, it's sinking deep into a warm blanket of memories, of identity, of knowing one's self. I can't think of anything more comforting. So, here we are, ready to make even more memories, siddathornton & I... ready to keep holding on to the old ones, too. 

-- 

siddathornton through the years: 

2012 | 2014 

hello again.

I miss this space.

I created a new blog, have written on it spottily over the last few months, and still, I am drawn back here.

That means something, right?

There's something about blogging that makes me value and celebrate and experience joyfully all that goes on in my life. Why should I stop?

It's kind of like exercising. Every time I start, I can't believe how amazing it feels and why I ever stopped doing it. But, it takes time and effort, and when those commodities are running low, I feel forced to cut "non-essentials," and that is how I get to the point of not blogging, and, similarly, not exercising.

Since becoming a mother, I have read a lot about continuing "self care" and everything associated with that. I'd be lying if I said that this isn't something I've struggled with. However, a quote that really resonates with me is the following: "You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first."  A quick Google search did not produce the author of this quote, but I find myself thinking of these words often.

Luke is 5 months old now, but I am still struggling to adhere to any kind of routine for myself. Showering, fixing my hair, getting dressed, and putting on makeup, among other self care activities, often fall to the wayside as I attend to his needs. I know that there has to be a way to have both, but I haven't found the magic time management recipe yet.

I figure I've just got to keep trying. If I keep these things at the forefront of my mind, eventually I will figure it out, right? I will say that the experience of becoming a parent has led me to respect parents who have it all together so much (and parents that don't have it all together). This is a big job, taking care of a human being. And right now, all I'm doing is the best I can. And that is enough.