recognizing nostalgia.



Yesterday, as I walked from class to my car, a strange kind of sadness gripped me in a way that hasn't happened in a long time. I wasn't sure what to make of it, & it made me feel pretty horrible, truth be told. As I trudged down the street, partly composed of cool concrete, partly composed of sun-warmed bricks, I kept my head down. The sadness was pulling me deeper & deeper, & I only wished for an explanation. 

I was thinking weird thoughts, abstract, yet vivid. I felt a sense of possession over the place we live, the time we spend, the activities that fill our days. Outsiders felt like threats - I didn't want them to tarnish our experience, to call our home anything other than that. 

As I approached the parking garage, I just wanted clarity: why was I feeling these feelings? At that moment, I glanced up at the sky, saw the frothy clouds moving this way & that, & realized it: life is a miracle. And the feeling I was feeling? Nostalgia. Nostalgia for a time that is still happening. 

And I know that in the distant future, when I think of our first married spring on the east coast of North Carolina - here in Wilmington, I'll think of this very time in my life. And I'll feel that familiar sting - the ache of nostalgia. And I'm sure that, at first, it won't feel pleasant. But, once I realize it for what it is - the bittersweet recollection of a vibrant memory - it'll be cherished.

wilmington magnolias | iphone

Comments

Tina Byland said…
These are the times when we really feel human, right? Those feelings where you transcend time and it feels sad and happy and weird and just a bit strange. Beautiful writing. :)
Sarah said…
I love these sorts of posts that you've been writing lately. They are written so beautifully, and they stir up so many emotions for me as I read along. Well done, lady. :)

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