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eighteen.

i was roaming your street the other day.
the one that housed your residence
however periodic or transient it really was.

i remember it as a time
when the darkness of others was amplified
& their suffering was prevalent, albeit expected & seemingly contrite.
it's like it didn't even matter.
and you were really good at perpetuating that particular notion.

but when you're eighteen, everything is huge, vivid... memorable.
so i remember, even still, today.

when you're eighteen,
people fit into neat, compartmentalized little boxes.
and they're them & you're just... you.
you would never even guess that the plagues & problems that ate at them could ever even touch you.

but as you grow older, you realize that people are just people.
and they don't fit into the neat little compartments that you've built for them.
everyone spills over into everyone else, overlapping & swirling together in one big pool of humanity.

but in that moment, in that year, all we would do was climb up onto that ledge & sit.
we just breathed in & out, seeing things.
the leaves were falling, the wind was howling.
and we just listened.

because when you're eighteen, that's all you have to do.

sometimes i want to climb up there
& retrieve the memories that are trapped on that ledge -
because i know they're there. promising me part of myself -
if i only dare to knock on the door, climb the stairs, & venture out.

but i know i never will.
i never will.

Comments

linz marie said…
I have so many memories from when I was 18- vivid, real memories- but I could never express them so eloquently as to make someone feel as if they were there- daring to climb out on that ledge. this is beautiful.
Meagan Shack said…
I loved this. This is how I think about some of the memories in my life. And the people I made them with are forever frozen in my mind, right where I left them. Great writing, friend.
Lovely, lovely, lovely. How refreshing to read such beautiful and heartfelt writing!

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about me.

Hello! And welcome to siddathornton.
My name is Lauren. I am 29 years old. Here are a few random factoids about me & my life...
- I'm originally from Louisiana, but I live in North Carolina with my husband, Justin. We aren't from New Orleans. Every time we tell someone we're from Louisiana, this is immediately what they assume. We actually come from a town in northwest Louisiana - Shreveport - which may as well be Texas, it's so close to the state line.
- Due to my love of the written word, I majored in Journalism at Louisiana Tech University. Tech is located in the quaint town of Ruston, Louisiana, and I like to think that attending college in a small town shaped much of who I am today. And as much as I would have liked the overly-romaticized dream of becoming a professional writer to have come to fruition for me, I'm in the midst of a career change, via occupational therapy school.
- There are a few things for which I have an unhealthy obsession: reading, co…

the sunday currently, volume 124.

beautiful flowers all around vail
readingFierce, by Aly Raisman. A couple of weeks ago, I finally finished Big Little Lies, by Liane Moriarty, which I really enjoyed.
writing a lot in my bullet journal, including adding photos and keepsakes. It's been a while since I've done this kind of journaling, and it really is my favorite.
listening to the Office while typing out this blog post. Nothing makes me feel better like this show does.
thinking that I am really glad that Justin and I built in some trip recovery time on the back end of our trek to Colorado. It really does take some time to get re-acclimated to the time zone you've returned to. We've both been feeling so tired since we got back.
smelling coffee and donuts. The breakfast of champions.
wishing for some tortilla soup today. I had some at a place called Hacienda Colorado in Denver. It was so good, and I've been craving it ever since.
hoping for a productive and joyful week ahead.
wearing pajamas, just like I have …

the sunday currently.

When I started blogging on siddathornton back in July of 2011, the beginning of my currently posts wasn't far off. I've long enjoyed compiling lists of what's going on in the moment, but I never thought about making it a link-up or an always-on-Sundays thing until September 16, 2012. As you can read in that post, I was elated, due to the responses I was getting from other bloggers, letting me know that they, too were doing "currently" posts and had decided to dedicate the writing of them to Sundays each week. Thus, The Sunday Currently was born, and I have currently penned over 100 posts, some with over 50 people linking up and sharing what they're up to, too. If you feel so inclined, please join! Let's celebrate the little moments of our lives that we never want to forget.

See all past editions of The Sunday Currentlyhere.