resolutions.

i am a big advocate of resolutions. in fact, i'd even go so far as to say that they're necessary. and i don't just mean with the turn of the year. oftentimes, i will make resolutions each month. i've even been known to make them on a random tuesday, in the middle of april. resolutions are my lifeblood. they keep me going. they keep me out of ruts. i love resolutions.

thus, i will be sharing my 2012 resolutions with you today. and rest assured, there will be more to come as the year ticks by.

lauren, in 2012.

1. be present, really present. it makes you a better listener. it makes your memories more vivid.

2. fix your hair every.day. you feel a million times better when it's fixed.

3. pray with purpose. have a real & meaningful conversation. grow a relationship.

4. clean.out.your.life. clutter equals stress.

5. be more forceful & true to yourself - ask for what you want. say what you feel.

6. work out every day, no matter how much or what you actually end up doing. every little bit counts, & this is how good habits are formed, how consistency is maintained.

i don't know why being present is a struggle for me, but lately, i've noticed that it is. i find myself daydreaming during conversations. i find myself peering at others over twitter. facebooking while watching a movie. this is not conducive to remembering much, as i've come to find out the hard way. i do not enjoy this sensation, so i am changing it. now.

and you know, i'm a little bit lazy. and naturally curly, frizzy hair + laziness yields an ugly result. and this ugly result is a source of nagging self-consciousness for me. so, what shall i do to change it? well, the answer is pretty obvious. man up, stop being lazy, & fix my hair.

i'll admit it: i am guilty of praying only when i need something. please let me have a safe flight. please keep so-and-so safe as they do this certain activity or go on this certain trip. please let me be successful at this particular task. and while it is good to rely on god, these kind of prayers feel a little bit like fair-weather friendship. and no one likes a fair-weather friend.

clutter. the bane of my existence. and yet, i surround myself with it. if you're looking for an answer to this enigma of sorts, you're looking in the wrong place: i certainly don't understand it. but i do understand one thing: i'm in control of it, & i am going to change it.

ahhhh yes, being forceful. being outspoken. being, shall i say, a strong personality. this is something i once prided myself on. but, as with most good things, it can be taken too far. which is exactly what happened last time i toyed with this particular trait. it is my goal to find the perfect balance between forceful & reserved. this is sure to be one wild ride.

as pointed out by many in my life, i am a very extreme person. everything is black & white with me. i'm either working out at every spare moment, or i'm laying in bed, eating donuts, & watching gossip girl, wishing myself skinny. this behavior has resulted in a distinct timeline of fat years & skinny years. how disgusting, right? look at me, & you'll see an example of yo-yo dieting at its finest. 

i'm ready to ditch that identity & amp up the normalcy. so, onward.

 

photo: a little taste of my carolina new year, taken with instagram.