waiting to have time.

I haven't been feeling like myself lately. 

Maybe it's the end of this semester that has taken so much of my mental & emotional energy, that I feel like I'm just treading water, waiting to have time to be myself again. Maybe I'm "saving myself up," so that when we go home for the holidays, I'll be able to be open & light & chipper & be able to share more of myself. Maybe I just don't have the energy right now.

But then again, maybe none of that is true. Maybe it's about being too hard on myself, of thinking I haven't been enough lately. Enough of myself. 

I think we all often go through these moments, these high & low tides, these ups & downs, these times of abundance & meagerness. But it never really dulls the ache of not feeling genuinely yourself, does it? I don't think it does.

I feel the most myself when I can see pieces of me in everything I do, everything I produce, everything I put out there into the world. And lately, I haven't felt that very often in anything I've been doing. 

Sitting here at the end of this post, this random pouring-out of words I've just sat at my computer & allowed to happen, I'm realizing that maybe I am just tired. Even as I open the gates & let the words flow, I realize that I've thought about school & all of the things that must be completed SOON about four hundred times. And then, there are the other things that are going on right now, that I haven't been able to share just yet. Yes, there are those things. 

By mid-December, we will be on a jet plane, headed toward our loved ones, headed toward our hometown, & all of the comfort & trappings of ease that comes along with that. And I think, then, that I will be able to truly relax. Until then, well... I'll just keep trucking, keep chugging along.

It will be worth it.

the day after.

thankful, ever thankful.

-----

the sunday currently, volume 62.

i had been looking forward to a pancake breakfast all week -

this selection from sawmill restaurant surely did deliver this morning

Well, friends, I've - yet again - changed my blog design, this time back to a sort of bare-bones approach, because every time I came to this space, I found myself getting annoyed at the design. Annoyed? Isn't that a little dramatic? Yes. It is. But I was feeling it, & I didn't like it. Thus, I basically decided to strip siddathornton of all color and/or stand-out fonts & just leave it like this until I've constructed a design I like. 

As far as the designing of my own blog, I have already made strides in certain techniques, & I'm starting to get excited about what I may be able to do here. I'm not going to put any time constraints on the rolling out of the new design, because frankly, right now, time is not something I have a lot of. However, this semester will soon be coming to a close, & I will hopefully have a considerable amount of free time on my hands for a while. Thus, you may see this space get a makeover sooner rather than later. I'm taking things one day at a time, for the time being.

With all that blog talk aside, I'd like to mention that this morning, Justin & I had the most delectable breakfast. I got a huge stack of pancakes, flanked by a side of fresh strawberries, & he got a banana pecan Belgian waffle. Sunday breakfast/brunch is often our indulgent meal of the week, & this one was no exception. We are so happy to have found Sawmill Restaurant in our area recently. When comfort food is desired, it delivers every single time. We're already smitten, & we can't wait to share this find with our Thanksgiving guests!

C  U  R  R  E  N  T  L  Y  .  .  .  

R E A D I N G the Harry Potter series with my mom, as soon as the semester comes to a close. She has never read this amazing collection of books before, & I am so excited that she is about to embark on this journey. We plan to have book club meetings via Skype/FaceTime, so that's going to make it even more fun. Just one more reason to greet the end of the semester - coming in a couple short weeks - with open arms.

W R I T I N G in one of my two brand new composition books soon. I found the CUTEST ones at Walmart, in both houndstooth & black & white polka dots. I'm a sucker for a nice composition book. They are my favorites.

L I S T E N I N G to the whir of the ceiling fan, as well as the clatter of Justin tidying up while I get this post quickly busted out. We have guests coming tomorrow evening, so we are working to get the house in its best condition so they will enjoy their stay with us.

T H I N K I N G that this morning was wonderful. Productivity & pancakes, does it get much better than that?

S M E L L I N G our oven. We put it through a four-hour self-clean cycle last night, & there is still a bit of an indiscriminate burnt smell hanging in the air.

W I S H I N G I was slightly more energetic. There is much, much to be done, & the fact that I've been dragging a bit for the last few days in definitely not a good thing. Making a mental note to meditate on that before bed tonight.

H O P I N G  all of my assignments & studying come together over the next couple of weeks. I want to finish this semester strong.

W E A R I N G stretchy black pants, a gray t-shirt, & one of my favorite knit scarves. My parents gave it to me for Christmas a few years ago. It's pastel purple, pink, & mint, & it's undeniably cozy. 

L O V I  N G my husband & all that he does for me.

W A N T I N G us to keep up our Pilates streak. I love cardio & weight training, but Pilates adds that extra oomph into my workout. It makes me stand taller, breath deeper, & feel better.

N E E D I N G to stay centered through the next few weeks. Aside from finishing up this semester, we will also be trekking over to Nashville so that Justin can attend a conference, then we'll be hometown-bound for two weeks of Christmas-Break-Bliss.

F E E L I N G empowered & ready to take on the week, making it one of both productivity & thankfulness. 

C L I C K I N G The Sunday Secrets, a classic.

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this week's posts:
the sunday currently, volume 61.
savannah snapshot: the mulberry inn.
friday's fancies #73: black friday brunch + blogging.

friday's fancies #73: black friday brunch + blogging.

A week from today, Black Friday will be upon us. For many, that means it's time to shop-til-they-drop. I've always found it fascinating the way some families make a day of the whole thing: rising at 3 a.m., guzzling coffee, mapping out their assault on the stores, refueling mid-day, & then jumping back into the craziness. As I've written before [here & here, to be exact], my family has never really been one to take part in these festivities. In fact, the only time I've been Black Friday shopping was the first Thanksgiving Holiday that I spent with Justin's family in Dallas, when we were still in college.

I'm not entirely sure what this year's Black Friday holds in store for us. We have family coming to stay with us for Thanksgiving, so there is a chance we'll get up & face the Wilmington crowds, but as of now, plans are still in their formative stages. One thing, I do know: there will be brunch, & there will be blogging. Thus, I've pulled together a cozy little look conducive to a Black Friday well-spent.

top | scarf | bag | jeans | glasses | laptop | boots

fireside reading

- My sister told me about this live tweet of a rooftop breakup, & I think it's pretty entertaining [and, well, relatable]. Favorite part? When the guy asks if they're getting pizza or what.

- I've long loved Laken's blog, & her recent move to Squarespace has me considering similar action.

link-up: friday's fancies | {long distance loving}

savannah snapshot: the mulberry inn.

Recently, I was going through the collection of photos I've accumulated on my laptop from this year, & I realized there were still quite a few Savannah photos I hadn't yet shared. That's why today I am sharing some snaps of The Mulberry Inn - the beautiful historic hotel we stayed in during our July 2013 visit to the charming city of Savannah, Georgia.

The southern charm, coziness & comfort is - I hope - oozing from these photos. I hope to return one day, that's for sure.

Want to see more of Savannah?

savannah snapshot: signs around town.

savannah snapshot: flags + flowers.

savannah snapshot: gryphon tea room.

photos taken in july of 2013 at the mulberry inn in savannah, georgia

the sunday currently, volume 61.

good morning, from the back corner table at starbucks

Good morning! It's currently 10:35 a.m. on Sunday morning, & I am sitting in the back corner at my favorite Starbucks, hopefully about to really get some work done. I have been to this Starbucks every day this week - to work on things - & I'm starting to think people may be wondering if I live here. It's such an atmosphere though: cool air that smells like coffee, the hum & whir of the espresso machines, conversations swirling all around me. It's definitely my element.

You may be noticing yet another blog design change. Y'all, I am being completely indecisive about this space's appearance as of late. The good news? I'm feeling more blog-inspired this week. I've been trying to trace the root of my complete blogging dry spell over the past couple of weeks, & I think the truth is that it comes down to self-doubt, lack of direction, & a yearning for perfection. All things I can fairly easily fix, if I just set my mind to it. And you know, the ending of this very challenging semester, in just a few weeks, will probably help in the way of more inspiration blossoming.

C  U  R  R  E  N  T  L  Y  .  .  .  

R E A D I N G about the GI tract, the reproductive system, & pharmacology today. There are some questions I need to complete today, as well as a little presentation. Our teacher is kind enough to give us ten bonus points for a three-minute, informal presentation, so you know I am jumping on that.

W R I T I N G a bunch of different calendars, counting down to the end of the semester, as well as all of December. There is a lot going on between then & now, that's for sure! It's so important for me to organize my thoughts & tasks down on paper. I'm just one of those people who need to see it in writing.

L I S T E N I N G to the hustle & bustle of Starbucks, like I said in my intro. I love it in here. I hear a daughter speaking with her mom, someone dragging a wooden chair across the concrete floor, & a frappuccino being blended together. And I was about to write, "I wonder what flavor that frappuccino is?" But right at that moment, I heard the barista announce that it was a java chip. It's funny to me that I get my best work done in here - with all this noise. But I suppose it's all ambient noise, & blends together unless I'm listening for specifics.

T H I N K I N G that soon I will be putting on my very first reader survey! This idea was born out of my desperation at being so very uninspired lately. Something that has kept me going, so to speak, is that I hate it when bloggers I love quit. I hate it when their blogs become inexplicably silent. And due to some of the sweetest comments ever, which I've been receiving lately, I feel compelled to not be one of those blogs that goes silent. I want to stay around, to share my life with people. So, that's what I'm going to do, one way or another. WOW, way to go off on a tangent there... as I was saying, I will soon be conducting my first ever reader survey, so be on the lookout for that. I'll be asking all of you to help me in deciding this space's future. So, there's that.

S M E L L I N G delicious Starbucks coffee. Can you tell I've been loving my dear sweet Starbucks lately? Because I have. It may relieve you to know that I have been drinking house blends during this coffee bender... I haven't been consuming a sugary sweet drink each time I've frequented this shop. That would be a bit excessive, now, wouldn't it? But seriously, I have been LOVING black coffee [Blonde Roast, to be exact] with one Sugar in the Raw packet. And also, a venti ice water. 

W I S H I N G I could get into the Christmas spirit before the day after Thanksgiving, but I think I'm one of those people who just wants to build up the anticipation & wait to get into everything until after. Every once in a while - I must admit - I'll allow myself to feel a twinge of excitement at seeing a Christmas tree already up in Harris Teeter, & truth be told, I am completely smitten with the Starbucks holiday display [as I shared on Instagram this morning].

H O P I N G  I can keep my wits about me this week, amidst the chaos that is the end of a busy, trying semester. I like to think I did a pretty awesome job managing my stress last week, & I'm hoping for a similar situation this coming week. Let's make it happen! Positivity has become an essential in my day-to-day life recently. 

W E A R I N G workout clothing. Because I need all the encouragement I can get to make it to the gym after this morning Starbucks session comes to a close.

L O V I  N G my blog, even in its current state. Blogging is such a wonderful thing. It really is. It's a means of connection, comfort, creativity... I could go on & on. But most of all, in my experience, it's a catalogue of my life, even when it's not even trying to be. I scrolled back through the pages of this space for a lengthy amount of time last night, just remembering & reminiscing. The fact that I have something to scroll though, that is such a deliberate expression of myself over the past couple of years and some change, is a gift I've given to myself. And one that I plan to perpetuate.

W A N T I N G to have a day of clean eating. Yesterday was 'diet cheat day,' & I'd be lying if I didn't disclose that Justin & I had frozen yogurt for dinner [mine was piled with whipped cream & Reese's Pieces... & cherries]. Since sitting here in Starbucks, I've had a toasted Everything bagel [no cream cheese], a venti ice water, & a tall Blonde Roast with one packet of Sugar in the Raw. I think I'm off to a good start! And by the way, I can't even express my elation at finally entering the world of Everything bagel lovers. I tried one for the first time a few weeks ago, & I'll never go back. They are everything [in the world of bagels, at least].

N E E D I N G to revamp my journaling this week. A while ago, I started a bit of a gratitude journal, & that's something I'd really like to keep up.

F E E L I N G like I'm finally getting better from being sick post-NYC trip. My lungs are aching a bit, but I think that's from the excessive amount of coughing I've been doing lately. But, also feeling wonderfully content as I tap out this post this morning.  

C L I C K I N G Twitter & Instagram this morning, changing my handle back to siddathornton. I know, annoying, right? Sorry for the momentary change [if it affected you in any way, as silly as that sounds]. My blog was at the height of its identity crisis last week when I changed it, & I was considering a blog name change. Now I know that's not going to be the route I'm going to take, so back to siddathornton they go... & will long have gone, by the time you are reading this.

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photo: taken in a bustling starbucks on sunday morning

this week's posts:

the sunday currently, volume 60. 

i've decided...

i've decided...

+ that things don't always have to be perfect to be good.

+ that the back corner table at starbucks is the best place to tuck into & get work done.

+ that when you arrive at an impasse, the best thing to do is sit back & reflect for a while.

+ that the best drink to order at starbucks is a tall blonde roast to which you will add one packet of sugar in the raw.

+ that simplicity is a beautiful thing, but some days require piled-on jewelry & bright lipstick.

photo taken on a chilly day in wilmington, north carolina

the sunday currently, volume 60.

i certainly do hope this is how your day is beginning

Have you ever had a blogging idendity crisis? Felt like you weren't sure down which avenue you wanted to continue - in blogging terms? Wondered if your blog should be a niche blog, or one that covers everything under the sun? Well, that's kind of what I've been going through here on siddathornton. I came back strong after my September blogging break, only to burn out - FAST. 

This blog is something that used to bring me such profound joy. It was a part of my life, just as much as it catalogued my life. It was part of my experience, & I have fantastic memories, focusing purely on the putting together of posts. 

But I have to be honest in saying that that is not how this space has made me feel as of late.

I'm not giving up, because I know the joy that blogging can bring. So, I'm going to soldier on through this time of uncertainty & weather the storm through to the other side. Things may not look the best around here right now, since I'm in a bit of a time of transition, but I hope you'll stick around & afford me some patience as I figure things out! Thank you, as always.

C  U  R  R  E  N  T  L  Y  .  .  .  

R E A D I N G informational blog posts about how to design blogs using HTML. Of course this ties in with the aforementioned identity crisis. I'm going to try to learn how to design things right around here - something at which I've always wanted to try my hand. I know it's not something that's as easy as 1-2-3, but I'm going to give it my best shot before commissioning out to a professional. Any suggestions? Please feel free to point me in the direction of the best resources - there is a lot of information out there!

W R I T I N G in journals a lot lately, about food, about dreams, about struggles. I'm glad that I have at least been expressing myself, even if it hasn't been on this blog as much as I would hope. I refuse to force posts out of myself, because I find when I force things, I start to dislike my blog even more than I did when I wasn't producing content.

L I S T E N I N G to the sounds of the television. I'm writing this currently post on Saturday evening, & as I type, LSU is playing Alabama. All I have to say about that is, GEAUX TIGERS. 

T H I N K I N G that I needed that phone call with my mom earlier. I'm so excited for our Harry Potter Book Club, which we will begin when this semester ends. I can't WAIT. I also can't wait to visit Shreveport for two weeks in December. I'm so ready for our trip home!

S M E L L I N G McDonald's, because THAT happened tonight. Sometimes it's just a McDonald's kind of night. And my hardcore diet starts tomorrow - I'm in a wedding in less than two months!

W I S H I N G I was a more resilient person. I'm easily deterred, easily discouraged, & easily knocked off course. I need to work on rolling with the punches & taking things for what they are. I'm bad about fighting against things & being stubborn, & really, nothing good ever comes out of that.

H O P I N G for a surge of energy & wellness this week. This past week was a bit of a challenge for me. I felt like I was tired all the time, & I was experiencing a post-travel illness as well. Let's hope for a good one this week!

W E A R I N G a sweatshirt & scrub pants - my Fall lounging uniform.

L O V I  N G all of the coffee Justin & I have been consuming lately. Is that a weird answer? When I met Justin, he barely drank coffee, & now he sometimes suggests getting it!

W A N T I N G a renewed sense of hope & motivation this week. Last week, I did a great job of getting down on myself, & that certainly doesn't help anything. A good attitude goes a long way, & I need to remember that this week, for sure.

N E E D I N G to drink water like a fish this week. That is definitely something I've been missing. I feel like drinking an adequate amount of water is such an easy thing to do to improve your overall health, but it's also something that's really easy to fall off the bandwagon on, too.

F E E L I N G hopeful & peaceful. And compelled to use the gifts that God has given me. 

C L I C K I N G my most recent article in Wilma Magazine - check it out here. I always get so excited to see my byline in print.

What are you doing? Link up & share below.

LSC

photo: coffee shop scenes | a Starbucks Saturday experience

this week's posts:

the sunday currently, advance edition: traveling home from new york [volume 59].

around here lately.

around here lately.

Since I just arrived home from my travels yesterday evening, I scheduled a post last week, to share with you a few snapshots from my life lately. Of course, these images won't include any of the ones I captured during my weekend in New York, but those are soon to come. In the meantime...

my new coffee mug, a C for Christy, & also, from Charleston

loving NYX's B52 lipstick lately & my plaid shirt from j.crew

java dog has the cutest splash covers & coffee collars 

 weekend coffee with justin... oh, & there may be a coffee theme for this post

lunch on a tuesday with anatomy & physiology at port city java

a fall-time navy manicure, whose photo was taken in ethics class

out for the crohn's walk with justin's office

beautiful  blue water & sky at wrightsville beach

a sunday afternoon run in my favorite park

more of beautiful wrightsville beach

a little snippet of school style

blue skies & buildings

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope you all have a lovely week ahead.

LSC

photos: around here lately | find more on instagram