The past couple of years/time since I've graduated college/time since 2007, when I was a student worker in the Labor Unit at LSUHSC-Shreveport have been a time of me choosing a career path, changing my mind, changing it again, re-changing it, going back to square one, & repeating this same circle over & over & over, for what feels like a million times.
I think the main battle I've been waging with myself has been over whether I choose to go with my creative side, or the side of me that feels pulled toward the medical field.
Why was I telling myself I have to choose? Well, because I'm one of those people who have an all-or-nothing personality. This trait has manifested itself in my past eating habits, when I was either meticulously counting calories or binging like there was no tomorrow, as well as in my career, when I was practically wearing a stethoscope around my neck while taking prerequisites for Physician Assistant school or shirking all responsibilities while indulging in the artistic lifestyle of guzzling coffee & penning pages of prose.
Then, slowly but surely, this past year, a break-through occurred.
I don't have to choose. I can have both.
I'm not going to lie to you & say that I haven't gone back & forth EVEN MORE, after this breakthrough occurred around November. Because I have. Tears have been shed, ideas have been second-guessed. But for now, I believe I am on the right track.
There is a long road ahead of me, but I'm going to indulge in the ride. I'm going to delight in the journey. Because really, that's always the best part. And while I'm indulging, I'm going to be sharing. Because sharing makes it real. And keeps me accountable. And reminds me that this is going to be fun.
photo: the beginning of my first novel \ instagram
7 comments:
I believe you can have both. I was always the all or nothing girl too. If I wanted this... I couldn't have that. But growing up and realizing that if you love a few things, and love them equally... you'll learn how to bring them together as one thing. You. I think you can do it, lady... whatever it is you see in your future... DO IT! And enjoy it. XOXO
This is so interesting! In my own life, I'm sort of the opposite of "all or nothing," and I've always envisioned a life full of a lot of little niches and passions....teaching piano, performing, freelance writing, blogging, maybe one day owning a shop....I also think that this has been my way of thinking about things because motherhood is so important to me, and I'm lucky that my passions align pretty well with my desire to be home with my children. Anyway, all to say that it's great you're discovering that you can have flexibility and multiple passions and interests in your life! Looking forward to hearing more :)
You`re so lucky to be so passionate about two very different things! I`m happy to hear that you are trying to follow both dreams instead of being limited to one!
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Jess
thank you! i feel relieved that i have finally realized that i don't have to choose between the things that i love - that i can make a life that involves all of them, if i'm only dedicated. i wish all of my passions lined up the way yours do - but i'm determined to make my work, too :)
thank you SO much for the encouragement! i know there are people out there who believe doing both is, well, do-able, but i feel the majority believes you have to pick one thing & put your entire heart into it. believing this is what has held me back from pursuing my passions for so long. but now, i feel free to tackle everything :)
Sometimes I think that merging passions is one of the most difficult things. I have a hard time choosing just one path to embark on too, but maybe I just need to learn how to combine all the things I love into one. :)
Life is all about balance... it's crazy to think so black and white when we have all the colors in the rainbow available. Go for it!
I have an all or nothing personality too, so I know just how hard this can be. Good for you for choosing both. It might be difficult, but i'm sure it'll be super rewarding! And good luck on your novel!!!
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